Can you believe this is the next to last episode before we have to wait ten months for our show to come back?  There is so much going on. Sookie’s great-great grandfather sold her to Warlow, we saw a preview of Jason being in a grave with Jessica, but we all know not to trust the previews, as they are deliberately misleading.  Then, of course, we have the FUBAR that has become Bill’s sanity. Hey, look on the bright side. At least we had Stevie Wonder sing us out, that’s something right? … Right?  Oh come on, he’s awesome!  Stevie’s, “You are the Sunshine of My Life” would have been funny though. Alright, I know you’re all really upset with tonight, so without further adieu lets dive in …

Well, we are starting out strong with our Bill sauntering through the Authority halls and he has his own personal “Field of Dreams” moment where he hears a voice calling his name.  Why do I have the feeling this voice is not going to be “If you build it, he will come.” but more like “If you drink me, I will make you majorly fucking reality challenged?” Bill walks into the Authority rec room following the sound of the voice and the door where the Vial O’ Lilith resides opens and wouldn’t you know it, there stands Lilith, sans clothing. Of course. They must be saving a bundle on her wardrobe.  Anyway, Lilith asks Bill to drink all of the blood in the vial. He looks confused and terrified and says no. Bill backs away and Lilith disappears, not without doing that shrieky thing she does. Wow! All that and before the opening credits. I have a feeling you better fasten your seat belts ladies, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Nora is having a reflective moment back in her room remembering Obi Wan Godric having his head ripped off by Lilith. I can understand how seeing that might change ones perspective somewhat. Nora remembers what Godric said about killing and there being nothing left and it kinda makes sense. Salome walks in and to tell Nora about General Cavanaugh coming and realizes right away that something is wrong. Nora assures her that she is fine and that she is totally on board with the drinking the world till it’s an empty dry husk. Again, I am paraphrasing. They share a Judas-like kiss that Nora initiates.

Jessica is in what looks like Salome’s room, but it may be that either Bill and Salome are sharing a room (I hope not) or pretty much all the rooms are similar. It doesn’t matter because Jess grabs Bill’s phone in an effort to warn Jason about Russell’s spectacular exit from the Authority and he’s now in the mood for Fae blood.  Jess doesn’t get far because she gets caught by Bill.  Jess is so sure that Bill is not that far gone she tells him since her phone is not working can she use his to warn Jason. She even invokes Sookie’s name. Oh, but sweetheart, he is that far gone. More on that later.  Bill refuses and tells Jess that she too must learn as he did by accepting Lilith into his heart that humans are just food.  Okay, hold the fucking phone. I am THE LAST person to defend religion, but come on! Most of the worlds’ religions are built on a foundation of charity and kindness and peace. It’s the deity thing I have an issue with, but accepting Lilith into your heart? Really? My rectum maybe, but not my heart. Lilith is the antithesis of what most religions try to engender in their followers. I know, I know, I went off on a mini tangent.

Back to Bill and his shenanigans.  Jessica tries the same tap dance around the truth that most kids try and asks Bill what if she turned Jason? She claims to love him and that turning him will appease Lilith and make her relationship with Jason just awesome. Bill looks at Jessica with the same are you kidding me look that all parents give their kids at one time or another and asks her if she thinks he is an idiot. No sweetie, you’re not an idiot. The cheese has slipped off your cracker is all. Bill calls Jessica’s bluff by throwing her idea of turning Jason right back in her face. I have to say … I loved this scene! I say if you’re going to be a prick, be a big one. Bill was malevolent, cavalier and sadistic all at the same time! Bill calls two guards in to take Jess in the vampcopter so they can get to the turning. Jessica is left with her mouth hanging open. Me too sweetie, me too. Half in surprise, half in turned-on. Bill walks out.  Good lord he is a sexy bastard.

Eric is pacing his room like a tiger at the zoo and hyperventilating. Nora is on her way to Eric’s room with a constipated look on her face that I guess is supposed to reflect either deep thought or stomach cramps.  Nora walks into Eric’s room and they have one of those slow motiony type looks at each other that is supposed to show their understanding that she now realizes the whole Lilith thing is a big ole crock of shit and she’s sorry that she believed it at all. They fuck it out. They plan an escape and apologize while they fuck. Wow, can they multitask or what?

Sookie and Jason are still at Moulin Fae stewing over Sookie being sold to a vampire by her not so great-great grandfather. Jason is being the typical big brother telling her he won’t let anything happen to her. Sookie tells him about the bathroom air thing when Warlow told her “You are mine!”  Right now, Sookie has a problem that she can’t blame on Bill. Holy crappies, how on earth will she handle that? Anyway, Sookie is going to stay with the Fae (I made a rhyme!) while Jason goes back to work. About time, no one really ever gets back to work in this town, do they?

A fleet of government type SUVs and a limo pull up to Authority HQ.  It’s the aforementioned General Cavanaugh.  Salome greets the general and he gets down to business. He wants to know in no uncertain terms what the fuck is going on and where is Roman?  He knows the Tru-Blood factories were blown up by the Authority and he wants to know what happened to the arrangement that they had to mainstream. He again asks for Roman and everyone kind of looks at each other and finally Bill tells the general that Roman is no longer with them (that’s an understatement). Nora tells the general that the Authority has adopted a Sanguinista regime now and that Lilith this, Lilith that, blah, blah blah … Salome advises the general to pick his words with more care. He isn’t impressed and calls them psychotic bloodsuckers and tells them, Roman was the only thing keeping them from sliding into the dark ages. Bill, always the boy in class with his hand up first, tells the general that he should really get with the program. Again, the general is not at all impressed.  He tells the Authority that he has video of Russell and Newlin eviscerating the frat house and that there are copies.  The general is pissed they lied about Russell being dead. He warns them that the government has been prepared for a situation like this for a while with specialized weapons and also that they own the day. The collective Authority looks scared now.  Ahh, the general tells them now that THEY should choose their words more carefully. He goes to leave and Eric breaks the generals neck. Funny, you hear Rosalyn mutter, “Oh my.” Eric needs to work on his subtly. The Authority argues about Eric’s actions and he suggest that he can fix the mistake by glamouring all knowledge of the video and Nora wants to help because she knows the general’s chief of staff. They go to leave and Bill, being no idiot, tells them to take a security detail.

Jason is back home and finds Jessica there with Bill’s guards.  Jessica is trying so hard to tell Jason to just go along with what she is saying and Jason is nothing if not consistent.  He argues that they have had troubles in the past … Jess is just trying to get him to shut up and go along with what she is doing. The guards are trying to rush Jess and what happens is, she bites Jason and suffice to say, the scene we saw with them in the ground was misleading. Jason was faking being unconscious, he jumps up and fires wooden bullets at the guards and they go splat.  Jessica tells Jason the scoop, that Russell and Newlin are on an eating binge and that Bill and Eric (not) have become religious nuts. The best part is when she says Sookie is in trouble (what else is new) and that (here’s the good part) nobody is going to save her this time. Jessica is left alone while Jason goes to warn his sister.

Pam is checking her office for tidbits of Elijah and Tara assures her that it’s clean. Pam looks like she had her hair done at the Princess Leia school for hair design. Next week she’ll have the hairdo that looks like apple danishes are plastered to her head.  Pam explains the Authority and their role to Tara. Pam commands Tara never to speak of Elijah’s death.  Jessica comes in and asks for asylum and when Pam refuses, Jess tells Pam that she knows where Eric is. Pam hides Jess.

Eric and Nora are in an Authority SUV off to their glamouring campaign (not) and Eric stakes the security detail.  Nora removes her bat pendant and they fly off.

Sam and Luna are at Authority HQ looking for Emma.

Maurella and the rest of the Moulin Fae are getting Sookie ready for meeting a Fae elder.  They warn Sookie that the Fae elder is a little unfocused due to her age and how many incarnations she has had. That’s my problem too! It’s funny that all the Fae bow deeply and Sookie curtsies, either due to her not being familiar with Fae etiquette or the fact that she’s obviously and really adorably pregnant. The Fae elder appears and she’s dancing, I guess.  It’s a damn site, but better than whatever the hell Salome was doing behind the curtain two weeks ago. Anyway, Sookie asks the elder if she knew her not so great, great grandfather and the elder says she did and that he was a creep.  When Sookie asks about Warlow, she is told that it’s forbidden to speak of such things.  The elder starts to explain why Sookie always sluts her heart out to every cute guy with fangs (umm, because they’re hot?) The elder tells Sookie that her, and Sookie’s and Warlow’s destinies are intertwined. Again, enough with the cryptic bullshit.  Just say what you mean!! She starts to tell Sookie why Warlow is after her, but Jason interrupts them to tell her the scoop about Russell and that because Bill and Eric have gone bonkers, nobody is going to save her this time. The elder seems alarmed that Russell is alive.

The next scene is disposable, so to sum up; Andy goes to Merlotte’s and Holly has her sons apologize to Andy. It’s nice. Done. Another scene related with Andy, Arlene and Terry.  Andy asks what their secret is to a long lasting relationship.  What, are they married like a year or two?  Maurella walks in and she calls Andy on his light pact.  Oh lord, storyline alert. Andy blows off Maurella.

Some guy comes to warn Alcide about the baby vamps running unchecked.  Alcide’s dad has a silver box fence to keep out baby vamps. Jackson (Alcide’s dad) and the guy (Rollins) have words and Jackson twirls his baton in his own self pity parade. Alcide calls his dad on his shit and his dad tells Alcide the pack deserted him, so they can fuck off, then Alcide gets really mad at the dirt.

Sookie tells the assembled Fae that she is tired of running from Russell and when he’s done with her that they are next. The Fae don’t want to fight but the Elder reminds them that they should and tells Sookie they will fight with her. Sookie and Jason go over their plan to get Russell. They tell each other they love one another.

The next scene was necessary if only for the information.  Jess tells Tara and Pam that Bill was not himself and that he was cruel and cold. Pam explains to them (and us) that this is indicative of nest behavior. That when vampires live together for a while and feed from one another that it forms nest behavior (Bills’ biting Salome and Lilith? ) and that it makes them sadistic and crazy. Pam speculates that Lilith’s blood is upping the ante on the crazy.  Jessica discovers that Tara is crushing on Pam. Tara gets pissy and Jess tells her she’s sorry, that she’s lonely, that she has no one to talk to (someone misses daddy). Jess tells Tara that even if she beats her up its okay because she’s a vampire and she will heal. Pam is in Eric’s chair watching over a very slow night at Fangtasia and who walks in but Rosalyn looking for Elijah, who turns out to be her progeny.  She can smell his blood on Tara and Pam tells Rosalyn that it was she who killed Elijah because he got on her nerves. Pam is arrested and as Jess is peeking to see what is going on, Rosalyn sees her and tells her that her daddy is looking for her.

We hear the shrieky sound again and find Bill walking around and looking to see where the sound is coming from.  It’s his room, where Lilith is (naked, what a surprise) telling Bill that he has been chosen among all the others. That only one can lead them and she chooses him. Poor Bill. He is on his knees in front of Lilith telling her he is not worthy. Now, I will get back to what I mentioned earlier regarding Bill…

When someone becomes a religious fanatic, it’s usually due to that person’s having some overwhelmingly disturbing event happen in their life (Bill being turned) that they do not know how to handle. They have usually been betrayed and lied to or have been abandoned or abused (Lorena) by loved ones (losing his family and Sookie dumping him). Fanatics usually have been exposed to an extreme ideology (Lilith) they feel they have a connection with. Add to the mix the hallucinogenic properties of the blood and there you have it, the perfect storm that has robbed Bill of his own beliefs and philosophies. These people are culled from the herd like a limping gazelle by a lion, or in this case a lioness. I usually don’t watch the “Inside the Episode” until after I have written my recap, but this time I cheated.  Allan Ball and others have mentioned several times to my recollection that Bill was searching for something to believe in.  Don’t forget what I have said before, that Bill was a man adrift. He has always hated being a vampire and has on more than one occasion called himself a monster. Like all good manipulators, Lilith has exploited Bill’s need for social and self acceptance. Tell him he’s the chosen one, that he’s special. Suddenly, he’s not a monster anymore, he’s a more evolved version of himself and he just never realized it until Lilith showed him. He now has something to believe in. Now back to our story …

Bill is on his knees and Lilith tells him to drink all of her. Lilith takes her bloody finger, puts it on Bill’s upturned lips and he takes it like holy communion. Bill opens his eyes and Lilith is gone and he brings his fingers to his lips and he again finds them bloody. He looks up in grateful bliss as his arms open wide.  As sad as the scene is, Bill looked quite beautiful, because he thinks he has found joy. I get the feeling it will be as fleeting as it is misguided.

Alcide finds baby vamps outside his dads’ trailer and since Jackson has the silver fencing the baby vamps decide to terrorize the neighbors.  Alcide goes to help and shoots them with wooden bullets.  Those bullets must be selling like hotcakes. Anyway, Alcide soon has more than his hands full and when it looks like he might be in trouble, a vampire drops from an arrow shot by Alcide’s dad. Very cool.

Jason is on Sookie’s porch when Russell and Newlin vamp to him and all to easily glamour the info as to where Sookie is hiding from him.  Jason tells them that she is with the Fae and that he will take them to her.  My, aren’t we helpful? A little too helpful.

Sam and Luna are in the Authority holding area and find Emma. They turn around and are found by Authority storm troopers and are thought to be humans brought in for food.  They are about to both be put in a cell when some one says that Chancellor Compton is requesting his breakfast.  Sam sees this as an opportunity to get help.  Boy is he going to be surprised.  As Sam is being led out, he bumps into Pam and they both say what are you doing here? It’s kinda funny. He asks Pam to help Luna … Pam asks quite rightly, “Who the fuck is Luna?”

We see Bill walking in a very determined way into the room that holds the Vial O’ Lilith and who does he find on his knees in front of the mantle?  Kibwe, who is more than happy to share his joy that he has been chosen by Lilith. You don’t say?  You see Lilith’s bloody hand print on the box. Bill sadly whispers, “No.” and yells, “She chose me!” and with that, Kibwe’s head is gone at Bill’s hand. Rosalyn is back at the Authority and is bringing Jess in by her ear.  God, I remember my mom doing that to me and it hurts like a bitch.

Bill is washing up in the pool that surrounds the Vial O’ Lilith. He is having his own Lady Macbeth moment here. He hears over the loudspeaker that his progeny will meet him.  Jess walks into the Authority rec room and Bill comes out of the Vial O’ Lilith room looking way guilty and upset, but trying to look totally collected.  Jess apologizes for not going through with turning Jason and Bill argues that it was worse that two vampires got killed over a human.  Jessica tells Bill that it wasn’t a human, that it was Jason and reminds him, he staked Longshadow for Sookie.  Well, if that just doesn’t pull the thread on Bill’s fraying sanity. Bill gets very defensive and starts quoting scripture.  Oh lord, when they don’t have a reason these types always pull out the magic book.  Jessica says she doesn’t care what Lilith says and that he is in a nest which is making him crazy. With that, Bill backhands her. Now proving Jessica’s point, Bill stands over her and tells her she can’t defy him because he is the Chosen One. Only he can kill Voldemort.  Oops, sorry. Wrong chosen one.

Salome is walking down the hallway and we hear the unmistakable sound of Lilith’s shrieky thing.  Guess what she tells Salome?  Can you guess? You’re right!! Only one can lead them and she chooses her.  Last week, I mentioned Abraham Lincoln’s quote, “a house divided against itself cannot stand.”  It’s actually in the Bible too. But I’m going with my man Abe.  What did he mean?  A house with a faulty foundation is a broken house or a divided Authority is going to be weak and susceptible to problems. The problems are already starting to show. Again, this would have been a better place to end the episode, but no …

Jason pulls into the field where the Fae are and Russell and Newlin can smell the Fae as soon as they get out of the car.  They ask Jason where they are and he just points and says “There.” in a really non specific direction.  Russell and Newlin are freaking out looking for the source of the smell.  They start vamping around the field. Sookie and the rest of the Fae are watching and wondering when they should do something and then finally when Russell threatens Jason, the Elder Fae goes out assuring them she’s got this.  She handles Newlin pretty handily and when she is about to put the whammy on Russell, he shoves Jason right in front of him so he gets blasted.  It didn’t look good for Jason.  I re-watched that part and it looked to me like his back is broken. She again is about to blast Russell when he gets behind her and drains her.  Russell is seriously high and is it me or has he got a shitload of mousse in his hair?  Wow, it’s almost Jersey mall hair.  Anyway, Russell turns and what to his wandering eye should appear, but a portal with a boatload of fairies in it. Russell is fucking pumped.  We close …

Ladies, this was a tough night. I have read other websites and a lot of you are worried.  As for me, I am enjoying this thoroughly. Watching Steve turn Bill from our sexy and sweet country gentleman into a maniacal religious zealot has been nothing short of miraculous.  For too long, Steve has been taking a back seat and in my humble opinion, the show’s been pandering to a loud and vocal minority.  Last year’s Eric amnesia debacle is evidence of that.  I do not blame Askars for the ridiculous Narnia sex episodes.  He did the best with what he was given. Steve was handed a real jewel this season, so was Askars for that matter. This was their season.  Both men have given their characters more depth this season then they ever had before. Eric is a better, more rounded character with real emotions, not ones inflicted on him like least season. What about Bill?  Well, Bill is nuts and fantastically so. It’s not overdone, it’s perfect. Steve has given Bill just the right amount of sadness and cruelty to make him frightening and confused and sexy. No small feat there. Bravo!

As usual what do you think? Let me know…

GIF CREDITS:

Lilith

Sookie and Jason

Pam and Jessica

Sookie curtsies

Rosalyn

She chose me

Russell and Steve